11/25/2014

Practicing Gratitude in All Things, Even the Annoying Ones


When my car decides two days before Thanksgiving it doesn't want to start, I feel grateful that my parents gave me a AAA membership and that my mom won't need the car while she is cooking up a storm.
(Also grateful that they were able to find a substitute for me. Eventually, thanks to the horrible timing and also the fact that I didn't know the proper protocol.  I know now!  My head still hurts from being stressed out and anxious to hear about the car.)

When darling Cat decides 3:10 AM is the perfect time to sing for breakast, I feel grateful she is still around. . . and that once she eats, she'll snuggle in bed with me until the alarm goes off.
Yesterday, she spent most of the evening in the kitchen towel cabinet.
Which probably explains waking up at 3 a.m.


When I can't find three lost things I really, really need and have been trying to find them for nearly a month now, I feel grateful a complete disaster hasn't happened without them. . . yet.  And I still am hopeful I am going to find them.  Yes, this will be the week.  Maybe.

When I'm reading yet another message from a way-too-old, way-too-far-away person from the online dating site. . . well, I just try to be grateful that at least someone noticed my photo and thinks I'm cute.  

Just like how the AAA guy said, "Have I mentioned you look beautiful today?" before he broke the bad news it wasn't a dead battery.  Hee.

I said, "Next you're gonna tell me I'm beautiful when I'm crying."

Oh, I am soooo grateful for humor right now. . .

     

11/15/2014

Don't Want an Asychronous Relationship; Don't Want Your Crumbs


Back in the blogging saddle, having battled not only work overwhelmingness and birthday blues but also time-weather-change blues and general cat craziness.  (She's fine but not adjusting her internal clock at all.  Hello, 3 a.m. yowling.)

Perhaps one contributor to the blues was not hearing from Mr. Lehigh Valley since before Halloween, and not having any real prospects since.  I'd decided at the beginning of this past that I'd delete our texting from my phone, and then on the 15th (today, coincidentally) I'd delete his contact info.

Today I worked at my part-time job, and so I don't see my phone until lunchtime.  (Would rather not have it out on the library floor for the taking.)  And there on my phone was a "Hey how are things with u things ok here been busy with work" text from him!?

I don't want this random talk.  I don't even want an hour of rapid typing back and forth.  Do you realize how many more words you can say--ideas you can communicate--in the same amount of time?  He doesn't, apparently.  He either is really lazy or just really compartmentalized.  Like this guy who can give his high school girlfriend only "Eight Percent of My Love."  (You youngsters have no idea about the awesomeness that was Square One TV on PBS.)


"Hey how are things with u things ok here been busy with work"
 

Why say you really want to find love when you can't be bothered to put any effort into it?  Are you really going to get your best when you never give your best?



I mean, we're all "busy."  We thankfully have jobs, pets, friendships, chores, faith commitments, DVR'd television programs, etc. to take up our time.  

But if someone isn't willing to reframe and adjust his or her weekly routine to invest time in getting to know someone, how will a relationship ever find a way in?

I don't hear from you in more than a fortnight, and you're just gonna send me a barely coherent text with what I guess is an EXCUSE for not being able to TYPE ONE GARBLED SENTENCE sooner, just like you did last month on a Saturday morning while visiting your grandma?

Is it because seeing her, old and alone in a nursing home, being looked after by her children and grandchildren, reminds you that you should talk to a girl?  

"Hey how are things with u things ok here been busy with work"

What am I supposed to make of this?

. . .

I'm getting the sense I'm not worth very much to him.  Not beyond keeping me on the hook just to believe and tell others he's "talking to someone" from online dating.

I'm probably preaching to the choir here.  I'm probably a little more irritated than I thought I'd be, thanks to the PMS monster.  Or the increase in jewelry ads as the "holidays" approach.  And wondering how much the Thanksgiving dinner conversation will focus on Younger Sister's new house.

Maybe that'll just be a signal for me to get up from the table.

Nobody would notice, anyway!